After a few years of living in Florida, we had to find a new place to rent. There was a sweet little community near by and the Lord led us to a nice four bedroom home there. The boys especially enjoyed it because there was a golf course near by and they loved collecting golf balls and then selling them to our friends. Glen use to play golf when we lived in Eureka, IL. When he would get off work on Friday morning, we would rent a cart and I would chauffeur him around the course while he played. It was great fun and I loved taking the hills at break-neck speeds. So living by a golf course was a thrill for him too. That home also had a beautiful pool and hot tub and a really nice screened in porch. It seemed our home was always full of people and we loved it that way.
We had been in our new little church a couple of years and the boys were attending the Christian School. All was going really well and we felt so blessed that we wanted to share it in some way. We decided to check into fostering and possibly adopting some hard-to-place children. We began attending classes and eventually we were introduced to two little girls, ages 5 and 7. They had been left in the back of a pick-up truck with a topper along with their dog for several days at a rest park in Florida. A trucker had pulled in to spend the night and noticed them in the back of the truck. Thinking the parents were probably in the restroom, he didn't think much of it but when the truck was still there in the morning and their were still no adults around, he decided to wait and watch. No one ever came. He bought the girls something to eat and called 911. Then he waited there with them till the police came. I wonder if this trucker could have been a guardian angel. It terrifies me to think of all the things that could have happened to them there all alone. The State took them away from their mother and they were put in the foster care program. When they came to us they had been in several homes already. It was our hope to adopt these little girls so they would never have to move again.
We were assigned a case worker and a adoption mentor. Or mentor's name was Peggy and she was my go-to person for just about everything. Peggy and her husband had one son of their own and then five children that were adopted. Four were from one family.
I don't know if our boys really embraced this idea of adding to the family all that much. When I look back, maybe we should have let them weigh-in more on this decision. The oldest little girl and Clay were the same age and they seemed to be pretty good friends. Everyone wanted to know if they were twins.
I don't think this was the best decision for Matt. He just never seemed OK with it. The youngest little girl was a real handful and we all were really having a hard time with it. Negative attention was all she seemed to really know and as much as we tried to show the positive, it just didn't seem to sink in. She disliked me a lot. This was understandable considering what her mother did. We knew it would take time but would our family be able to survive it.
We had so many people telling us what to do and how to handle it all. Our Pastor would show us what God's Word said, our case worker would tell us how the State of Florida would want it handled, and then I would try and pull from Peggy's experience. One thing for sure, we weren't handling it well.
I will never forget this one experience. She had been stealing kids lunches on the bus and then eating them right in front of them. Children who have been really, really hungry and didn't know where their next meal would come from, have a tendency to grab food when and where they can, even if they already have some of their own. We couldn't seem to break her of this habit so I called Peggy. She told me to fix her favorite meal that night and then not let her have any of it, but she would need to sit and watch us eat it. "Always make the punishment fit the crime. It's what they understand." So that's what we did. I will never forget the look on her face when I told her she couldn't have any Spaghetti. When she asked why, I told her because she stole that little boys lunch and ate it in front of him. You need to see how that feels. I hated doing it. It broke my heart but it worked. She never took anything again that belonged to someone else. School was a real challenge for her. Negative attention does not play out well there. Her teachers were at a loss, finally resulting in making her sit under her desk. I was having none of that so we took them out of the public school and sent them to our little Christian School. Not having to share the attention with twenty other students seemed to help some what.
After 18 months, Glen and I went to our case worker and told her this was not going to work out. We would love to adopt the older child but this little one was tearing our family apart. She asked if we would stick it out another six months and then if we wanted to adopt her sister, they would split them up. So we did, always hoping for a break through of some sort. We would never have made it without Peggy and Mike. The longer we had the girls the more violent and destructive the little one became. So after two years we gave up. I had shared with Peggy how much I had grown to love them but we just couldn't live like this any longer. Then our case worker gave us the news that they would not split them after all. So miracle of all miracles, Peggy and Mike adopted them. It was bittersweet for us. Elated that they were going to be with a great family that we knew but so very sad to see them go. We would not only be saying goodbye to the girls but to Peggy and Mike and their family. We would no longer be able to be in touch.
I will always treasure the opportunity we had to show love to these little girls. We introduced them to church and to Jesus. We took them on their first airplane. We taught them how to swim and probably gave them their first real birthday party. I don't know if they remember us and if they do, if they're good memories. But I will forever remember them and will love them forever.
