Words Can Change A Life

The Bible has hundreds of references on the tongue and the impact of words that come out of our mouth.  They are so very powerful in both positive and negative ways.
I would say if I had to pick a favorite school year, it would have been the eighth grade.  I knew my classmates well, I had the best teacher in the world, Mr. Kennedy, and my first honest to goodness, hand holding boyfriend.  Life was good.  I had so much fun that year.  Mr. Kennedy put our classroom in the shape of a U and he would stand in the middle or walk around with his big ole' intimidating yard stick and tell us all about the Korean War.  He would encourage discussions about anything we wanted to discuss.
So at a time in my life when I loved everyone and everything, when I didn't realize that there was anything different about me other then the fact that I walked with braces, I was given a dose of life that I had not ever experienced before.
Remember that I had been mainstreamed into a regular classroom 4 years before and had been with these same kids every year sense then.  The school for Special Ed children was attached to ours and each school had their own playground.  A couple of the girls in my class had started a dodge-ball game on the Special Ed playground and they were asked to move their game to their own playground.  One of the girls was really upset and when we got back to class a discussion broke out about why "those" kids got to come into our school and onto our playground anytime they wanted but we weren't allowed to go into theirs. It was like I wasn't even there.  I was one of "those" kids she was talking about but I felt more like a part of these kids.  It was devastating to me.  Huge tears streamed down my face as I took on the whole weight of the little school for disabled children next door upon my shoulders.  Several of my close friends began to stick up for those like me but it was too late.  For the first time in my life, I felt less then them, not as good as them and most of all I felt different.   Mr. Kennedy kept me after class and tried to cheer me up and repair some of the damage but I would forever be changed.  I no longer felt accepted.
A few weeks after school let out for the summer my boyfriend dumped me for another girl.  His reason was that I wasn't what he needed in a relationship, if you get my drift.  He just wanted to be friends.  Another shot to my world.  Someone letting me know, I was not good enough.  He was actually saying I was too good but that is not what I heard.   So, if it was a friend he wanted, a friend I would be. These two instances along with a strong will to be independent led me on a downhill spiral.  I would, from that time on, be determined to be whatever you wanted me to be as long as you liked me and wanted me.  I did not ever want to experience rejection again.  The fallout from that was not pretty. I became a doormat for many because I was too afraid to argue or disagree.  All I ever wanted was just to be accepted. You just can't be everything to everyone.  I am still learning that lesson.
But you know they say that what makes you weak makes you strong, or something like that.  I now had a determination to succeed.  I was out to prove that the kid from the other playground could be the best employee a company would ever have.  I felt responsible to pave the way for all those physically challenged people who would come behind me.
I wanted to have a successful marriage and bare children.  I failed at the marriage thing at first but now have been married for 34 years.  I have two wonderful sons and four beautiful granddaughters plus bonus children and grandchildren.
I try so hard to choose my words carefully and weigh each one and the affect they will have but I am sad to say that I have hurt people with my words.  I know those girls in my class probably never meant to hurt me or alter my world in anyway, but that is just my point.  The words came out never to be taken back.  I heard them.
So use your words for good.  They are just as powerful when they're positive. Words of truth and love, encouragement and thankfulness.  Use your words to bless others.  I know you have all blessed me with your kind words of encouragement regarding this blog.  You're the reason I continue.  I am thankful for you.

 

Miracles

How does a miracle happen?  Well other then the miracle of creation, it most always follows prayer.  Now it might be a short prayer that God answers right away or it might be a prayer that is prayed everyday, without fail, for years and years.
When I had polio, the doctors said I would never walk again, even with the aid of braces and crutches.  They said my core muscles were not strong enough.  As many of you know, God answered prayer and allowed me to do just that.  I was told I would never be able to have a baby.  God gave me two healthy boys and with His help and grace, I carried them full term.
I have seen many answered prayers in my life.  I can't wait to share some of them with you.  One thing I have learned is that God always answers.  Sometimes the answer is "No" but many times it is "Wait".  I think the reason is because we learn more by waiting.  Our faith grows stronger and we realize that this particular thing is not going to happen without Him.   God needs to be given the glory and He wants to make sure we and others see that it's through Him that miracles happen.
This week I saw two miracles.  A close friend of ours younger brother was stricken with cancer last year.   He had several tumors throughout his body and one was on his spine.  A very aggressive chemo treatment schedule was put in place and I am very thankful to say he is tumor free today.  We will continue to pray for him, that God will strengthen him and help him to walk again on his own.  We also want God to kill all cancer cells and pray that there will be no new tumors in his future.  I know this is a tall order but nothing is too big for God.
We also saw a prodigal child come home after twenty years.  Her parents, family and friends have prayed faithfully that she would return one day so that they could welcome her with open arms.  This week God brought about a miracle in His time and this child has come home and that family has been restored.
So I say to you today, whatever it is you're praying for, wait and keep praying.  God is at work and He assuredly has a plan.  If your praying for a loved one who has gone astray or someone who needs the Lord or maybe it's for healing for yourself or someone else, keep praying in faith believing.   His ways are not our ways and we must be open to His will and have the faith that He knows what is best for His children. God makes no mistakes and He sees the future when we cannot.  Trust His ways.
My oldest son had a verse to learn for kindergarten graduation.  I Thessalonians 5:17 "Pray without ceasing". He would try so hard to say Thessalonians correctly that he would nod his head forward to say it and when he did, his hat would fall off.  He would pick it up, put it back on and start over. We went through this process three times and finally his teacher said, "Just say the verse, honey."  I thought he would never actually get to the verse.  But he made it and you will too. So just keep praying my friends.  That's what I'm going to do.

The In's And Out's of 2012

I have contemplated for three days, what words of wisdom I could give you for 2012.   For some 2011 was a year that you can say that you're glad it's over.  Last year I fell and broke my foot.  I don't notice the progression of this post polio thing until something like that happens and I have to realize that here is one more thing I am not able to do anymore.  But other then that it was a year full of blessings. I got to meet one of the people I respect and admire most. I spent a few days with my sister and my parents. I went to a Joni & Friends retreat and a retreat in NC to see my friend Mina.  God also blessed me with a new van and power wheelchair and He gave me a new job.   Most of all, he continues to bless me with a wonderful family and friends.  That is what I am most grateful for.  When I look ahead to 2012, I know there will be trials but here is what I know for sure, God will go before me and see me through whatever it is and I will be a better, stronger person because of it.
Yesterday I heard a wonderful message on "A Year Of New Beginnings".  It was about what I should leave out in 2012 and what I should put in.
Leave burdens behind.  If we could just learn to give everything over to God and then leave it there, we would have so much more peace. We are so prone to give God control and then take it back. Leave it with Him. Remember that nothing happens to you that has not been filtered through His nail-scarred hands.  He knows the outcome and you can trust that He has your best interest at heart. I look forward to sharing with you some of the ways God has done this for me in my life, once I let go.
Leave behind any resentments.  Resentment leads to bitterness and unforgiveness and this is not healthy.
Leave your failures behind. God is not through with you yet so just hang in there and keep trying and learn from your mistakes.  Grab hold of the future and right now that is 2012.

So what do I need to add in to 2012? I want to have a consuming passion to know Jesus.  To spend more time with Him in prayer and in His Word.  I need to do be passionate about this and not do it out of a sense of duty.
I want to have an overflowing love for others.  I love people, I really do.  When the Doctors told me I shouldn't work anymore, I tried it.  But I couldn't stand not being around other people.  So I went back to work part-time.  Staying home alone everyday was unhealthy for me. But do I have an overflowing love?
Do I have a right relationship with Jesus Christ?  Yes, I'm saved and on my way to heaven.  I know that with out a shadow of doubt.  But am I giving my all?  He did, He gave His all for me on the cross.  So am I worshiping Him as I should?
So here is my resolution for 2012.  I want to be a better child of God then I was last year.  Someday I will stand (yahoo) before Him and I want Him to be able to say, "Well done my good and faithful servant"

What Makes It Feel Like Christmas?

I caught myself saying yesterday, "It doesn't feel like Christmas."  I said this because of the balmy temperatures we are having in middle Tennessee this Christmas.  At this time last year we were in a full fledged blizzard and Glen and I were on hold as my little sister was trying to fly into Chattanooga.  We ended up picking her up in Knoxville and were grateful to have her in our possession even though the ride home during the storm was tricky. Once we reached the mountains the road disappeared all-together and we had to travel by God's grace and mercy and He did not fail us.
So I began thinking about what really makes it feel like Christmas.  Is it the music and the shopping?  Is it the decorations and the sweets?  Maybe its the parties and the presents.  Is it being around friends and family?  I have to say, all these things are a part of what makes Christmas special but you really don't need all these things or any of any of them for that matter.
This year I put up fewer decorations, baked less goodies and have no family around for the holiday but my hubby.  But when I entered God's House this morning, it felt like Christmas.  God's Son is what makes it feel like Christmas but you need Him in your life to experience it.  I hear the music in my heart and I see His awesome decorations everywhere I look.  He has blessed me with so many precious gifts including the desire to give to others. He has blessed me with a wonderful family yet I am even more blessed to be His child.  So do we need the cold and the snow to make it feel like Christmas.  No, we just needed the Son of God coming to earth in the form of a Child. He came to be a sacrifice for our sins so that we could have eternal life.  We only have to accept His perfectly free gift of salvation.   So in the words of my favorite new Christmas song.....A Baby Changes Everything.

God Wants To Hear You Sing

I love to sing.  I was not gifted with a beautiful voice even though my parents sent me for voice lessons for a few years.  Oh, there's probably a message in there somewhere.  But what God did bless me with was the desire to sing, and the courage to do it in public.  He gave me the ability to carry a tune and interpret a song.  How I would love to have "the gift" of an angelic voice and the three octave range.  But it is what it is and I have not let it stop me.
This time of year reminds me of my first public appearance.  It was the church Christmas program and I was seven.  They put a child's size card table and chair on the stage with a birthday cake on it.  My dad was to carry me out to the table and then leave me there.  I was to light the candles and then sing Happy Birthday to Jesus.  My daddy practiced with me for weeks on lighting the candles.  When I look back at it now I have to wonder, "What were they thinking?"  I remember being more nervous about lighting those candles, then singing.  The Saturday before at the practice, they decided to have the cake candles already lit.  Good choice!  I would sing a solo in the program every year after that till high school.  That's when I was old enough to be in the adult choir.  We had a wonderful choir and a very talented, funny director.
At Fairchild Hall, my special ed class put on two operettas.  Hansel and Gretal and Amhal and the Midnight Visitors.  Having a flair for the dramatic, I enjoyed performing in these two little productions for the rest of the school and friends and family.
In junior high I learned to sing alto in our school choir.  This is where my strength was and I quickly learned how to read music and sing harmony.  I would follow this path into high school.
My husband and I have been singing for the Lord now for almost 35 years.  Now he does have a gifted, beautiful voice and I love being his doo wop singer.  Many times I sing alone, but I love to pick out songs that touch my heart and are personal to me.  The problem with that is, I get so caught up in the song that I can't help but cry.  Crying and singing do not work together for me and the sobs caught in my throat usually are the winner. I heard someone sing the most beautiful song one Sunday and asked her, "How can you sing that song without breaking down?"  She said she just sings and never thinks about the words.  I was flabbergasted about that remark.  The day I sing without thinking about the beautiful message in the words, I will quit.  I would rather cry.
So as our choir takes the stage this Sunday to sing a very beautiful Christmas Cantata, I am so thankful for the opportunity to be a part of this group sharing the message of Christ's birth, because I know God wants to hear me sing and He wants to hear you too.  What a wonderful way to praise and worship Him.

Once Upon A Time....

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Roderick, there were two little Princesses. Even though they lived in separate castles, they were very close, yet very different.
Princess Leanah was a shy, sweet and quiet, rather frail little three year old.  Princess Cyndi was a strong, energetic, dramatic and sometimes a rather loud two year old.  The two little girls loved to spend time together playing with their dolls or running with their older brothers (when they would allow it). Princess Cyndi, although younger, took care of her older cousin sensing her shy, quiet spirit.
Then one day a wicked curse came upon the kingdom and Princess Cyndi was struck with a terrible illness.  She was taken away from her dear cousin and it was difficult for Princess Leanah to understand.  Where had her Cyndi gone? Why wasn't she coming to run and play?  The King and Queen of Keen tried to explain to their precious daughter that little Cyndi was very sick and was in the Royal Hospital but that she may never get to walk and run again.
It was difficult for this three year old to comprehend this explanation and all she really did know is that she missed her friend and cousin very much.  Then on Christmas Day, after she had opened all her presents, the King and Queen told her they had a very special gift for her.  Cyndi was sitting up and would be able to have visitors today.  Princess Leanah was going to get to play with her cousin today.  She could hardly wait.

When they arrived at the hospital, Leanah found a frail, shy, sad little girl sitting on a strange throne with big wheels. They tried to tell her this was her beloved Cyndi but it was hard to believe.  This wasn't the happy, fun and chubby playmate she remembered but inside this three year old knew this was her Cyndi. She could see it in her eyes.  And then a transformation took place.  Princess Leanah became a mother lioness.  She became strong and protective of her little cousin. She knew in her heart that she would always be there for her.  She would be her legs and her arms and anything else she needed.  She would watch over her forever.
When Princess Cyndi came home from the hospital Leanah began pulling her around in her red flyer coach wherever she wanted to go.  She used her strong legs to pull her on a sled or push her on a tricycle. 
Leanah couldn't bare to have her out of her sight.  At one point they thought they should separate the two girls in Sunday School so Leanah would be more apt to concentrate on the lesson rather then Cyndi.  But she threw such a fit, crying uncontrollably that her Cyndi might need her, that they had to put them back together.  Leanah would even learn to pick her up when she fell. They did everything that all little girls do and they did it together.

These two little Princesses would grow to have Kingdoms of their own but one thing will always remain the same. They would always love each other and share the special  bond of their childhood and they would both live happily ever after.

 

The Piano Bench

By the forth grade, I had these braces and crutches pretty well mastered.  No longer did I rip them off the minute I got home from school.  Therefore, my braces were beginning to wear on the back of my leg.  Back then, braces were made of steel covered with leather so I was down to bare steel.  Consequently, I could easily scratch a chair when I sat in them.  I had probably scratched many a church pew.
My forth grade year in school I was mainstreamed into a regular classroom.  A little girl named Marcy reached out to me.  She was an only child and we became wonderful friends.  I would spend many nights at her home playing.  I had a very special bond with her daddy.  A child senses when they are loved and her parents truly loved me and I them.  I remember her parents taking me to concerts, plays and programs at the college right along with Marcy.  Her dad would carry me to and and from the car in the winter or when I got tired.  It was then I noticed he walked with a limp.  He shared with me that he had polio at the age of 10 and after 27 surgeries he could walk with a slight limp.  That was the first time I realized that polio had many faces.  Her daddy had a servant's heart and was always very thankful for what he had and for what God had done for him.
Marcy played the piano.  Her grandmother had paid for her to take lessons from the time she was five.  Her great grandmother had been putting away money from war bonds to buy Marcy and her mom a piano someday.  Marcy's family had just moved into a beautiful house in town.  It was the most beautiful house I think I had ever seen and even when I drive by it today, I still can see two little girls playing make believe inside with Marcy's little dog.
Little by little her parents were furnishing the house and Marcy's mom began to look for a used piano but she was reminded by her grandmother that there was money for a brand new piano. "Just go pick out whatever you want". So she picked out the most beautiful brown wood, high gloss piano she could find. A few days later I came for a visit and Marcy and I couldn't wait to sit at the piano. 
Two years ago Marcy shared the "rest of the story" with me at our high school reunion.  This is what she told me in her words:  "After you went home Cyndi, mom came into the living room and saw scratches on the piano bench from your braces and she began to cry.  My dad told her not to cry, that Cyndi didn't mean to do it.  She said "Of course not but I don't know how to repair it and grandmother hasn't even seen it yet."
My daddy said "We are NOT going to fix the bench (as he loving touched the marks on the bench). Every time we look at it we will think of the joy and love that Cyndi brings.  It will always remind us of her and it will always remind me of how fortunate I have been.  I simply wish I could share my good fortune with her."
To this day the piano is proudly displayed in my parents living room.  When mom plays she often looks down at the bench and smiles. I have often seen dad sit on the bench feeling the marks as he is talking."
I thanked Marcy for telling me that story with tears in my eyes.  I try everyday to ask the Lord to help me be a blessing to others.  Why?  Because I have been so blessed to have so many people who have loved me along the way.