The Blue Lights Of Fellowship

There are so many scriptures about pride and humility.  It must be a very big problem with us humans, sort of  like the tongue.  I know I struggle with all these things.  I must confess that I am proud of my independence and of the things that I have been able to accomplish although I am very aware that all of these things were through the amazing grace of  my Lord and Savior.  Nevertheless, I can get an I don't need your help or I know what I'm doing and I'm good at it, attitude.  It's something I have to beg for help with through prayers everyday.  I love the way our Savior can knock me down a few pegs every once-in-awhile to remind me I do need help and I am not all that good at anything. He allows embarrassing situations to happen to me to try and teach me humility.
About two years ago, I was pumping my gas at our little local Jiffy gas station.  I was very proud of the fact that I pumped my own gas and didn't need anyone to help me. Most the time these gas pumps don't print you a receipt so I wasn't concerned when I didn't get a receipt this particular day. I got back in my van and headed out to the light to make my turn onto the main road.  All of a sudden, I hear some woman yelling at me from the parking lot, "Lady, come back. You didn't pay for your gas".
"Who me?"   How absurd that she would think that I would run out on paying for my gas.  So I turned around, got out of my van, wheeled into the store so I could explain that I had used my credit card to pay.
"Well, did you pick up the nozzle before it told you too because if you did, you canceled the transaction."
I did not know that and obviously that is what happened. I paid for the gas and went on my way but I have to say, I was humiliated.
Last Wednesday I was at this same gas station pumping my gas making sure I waited for the pump to tell me to lift the nozzle, as I always do now.
As I headed up the mountain, I noticed a policeman tailing me very close.  I made sure I was doing everything right but he was not backing off.  Then they came on, those embarrassing Blue Lights Of Fellowship.  As I pulled over a million things are going through my head. Then it hits me.  I had just left the Jiffy gas station.  Oh no, not again.  Well they are just going to have to go to the video tape because I paid.
"How are you today", he says all sweet and southern like.
"Well I'm not sure.  You tell me." I said as sweet and southern as I could be.  Considering batting an eyelash or two if I need to. You're a 62 year old woman in a wheelchair girl, get a grip! 
"I just wanted to let you know that your tags have been expired sense JULY."
I was shocked.  I couldn't believe it.  How could that have happened?
He let me go and I praised God all the way home.  At the same time I'm wondering how little miss independent, little miss organized, little miss on-top-of-everything, let this happen.  Someone else must have dropped the ball along the way.
As it turned out, I was never sent the registration renewal but I had to take another good look at myself and realize I wasn't all that organized or I would have noticed.  And being pulled over on the side of the road with those blue lights flashing, is the pits.
I was sharing this story with my boss because I had to take some time off to go get this straightened out. His first response was, "Didn't you tell them you worked for Dr. Horton?"
My first thought was, I don't need you to get me out of a ticket. I can do it myself.  
I guess it's back to the Word and onto my knees again.  Will I ever learn?

God Fills A Broken Heart

It grieved my heart so every time I passed my little girls room.  I soon learned to shut the door and act as if that room didn't exist.  I prayed God would help me get over this hole in my heart and fill it with something else, and of course He did just that.

I was still working second shift at Ozark so my mornings were free.  It was on such a morning that one of Glen's nieces called.  Her name was Cindy also and she was a neonatal nurse in northern Indiana where Glen's family is from.  She said that my stepson's new little baby had been brought in last night and was in the neonatal unit.  She was taking care of him.  Cindy said that Glen's son and daughter-in-law might need help in caring for the baby and was there anything we could do.  So we immediately flew Glen's son, Ed and his wife and baby down to Florida to live with us for awhile.  Glen got a job for his son where he was working and everything just fell into place.  They moved into the girls bedroom and we put Rusty's crib out in the family room.  They began attending church with us where Rusty would soon be dedicated. 

What a blessing Rusty was.  Every night when I got home from work, around eleven, he was ready to be fed.  I enjoyed that time with him so much.  He was such a good baby. 

Glen was so blessed to have this opportunity to spend this much time with his grandson.  When he was home, he was with Rusty.  Rusty was either on his lap or in the pool with him.  It was a special time.

It was during their stay with us that we lost the Challenger space shuttle and crew.  I think everyone remembers what they were doing that day but people in Florida, even more so because we watched it unfold before our very eyes and not on a TV screen.  When a shuttle went up, back then, time stopped and everyone went outside and looked to the skies.  By this time, we had witnessed many shuttle launches but for Ed and Samantha, my daughter-in-law, it was her first.  Matt was home sick that day and was watching from the couch.  Glen and Eddie were at work and had stopped to watch. Samantha and I were outside our home in the street and when I saw the two trails in the sky, I knew something had gone very wrong.  We hurried back in to hear the worst from Matt.  I will never forget that day.

Ed and Samantha would move into their own place eventually but we had Rusty often, sometimes for days at a time.  Samantha was getting homesick though so Ed sent her and Rusty home to Indiana for a visit.  She decided she didn't want to come back to Florida so naturally Ed went back to Indiana as well.  They would have two more sons and now Ed and Samantha our grandparents.  You know what that makes us don't you?  Great grandparents!!!!!  Maybe the Lord will allow us to be great, great grandparents, who knows.  But I do know this, we will love them all. 

Two Little Girls

After a few years of living in Florida, we had to find a new place to rent.  There was a sweet little community near by and the Lord led us to a nice four bedroom home there.  The boys especially enjoyed it because there was a golf course near by and they loved collecting golf balls and then selling them to our friends.  Glen use to play golf when we lived in Eureka, IL.   When he would get off work on Friday morning, we would rent a cart and I would chauffeur him around the course while he played.  It was great fun and I loved taking the hills at break-neck speeds.  So living by a golf course was a thrill for him too. That home also had a beautiful pool and hot tub and a really nice screened in porch.  It seemed our home was always full of people and we loved it that way.
We had been in our new little church a couple of years and the boys were attending the Christian School.  All was going really well and we felt so blessed that we wanted to share it in some way.  We decided to check into fostering and possibly adopting some hard-to-place children.  We began attending classes and eventually we were introduced to two little girls, ages 5 and 7.  They had been left in the back of a pick-up truck with a topper along with their dog for several days at a rest park in Florida.  A trucker had pulled in to spend the night and noticed them in the back of the truck.  Thinking the parents were probably in the restroom, he didn't think much of it but when the truck was still there in the morning and their were still no adults around, he decided to wait and watch.   No one ever came. He bought the girls something to eat and called 911. Then he waited there with them till the police came. I wonder if this trucker could have been a guardian angel.  It terrifies me to think of all the things that could have happened to them there all alone.  The State took them away from their mother and they were put in the foster care program.  When they came to us they had been in several homes already.  It was our hope to adopt these little girls so they would never have to move again.
We were assigned a case worker and a adoption mentor. Or mentor's name was Peggy and she was my go-to person for just about everything.  Peggy and her husband had one son of their own and then five children that were adopted.  Four were from one family.
I don't know if our boys really embraced this idea of adding to the family all that much.  When I look back, maybe we should have let them weigh-in more on this decision.  The oldest little girl and Clay were the same age and they seemed to be pretty good friends.   Everyone wanted to know if they were twins.
I don't think this was the best decision for Matt.  He just never seemed OK with it.  The youngest little girl was a real handful and we all were really having a hard time with it.  Negative attention was all she seemed to really know and as much as we tried to show the positive, it just didn't seem to sink in.  She disliked me a lot. This was understandable considering what her mother did.  We knew it would take time but would our family be able to survive it.
We had so many people telling us what to do and how to handle it all.  Our Pastor would show us what God's Word said, our case worker would tell us how the State of Florida would want it handled, and then I would try and pull from Peggy's experience.  One thing for sure, we weren't handling it well.
I will never forget this one experience.  She had been stealing kids lunches on the bus and then eating them right in front of them.  Children who have been really, really hungry and didn't know where their next meal would come from, have a tendency to grab food when and where they can, even if they already have some of their own.  We couldn't seem to break her of this habit so I called Peggy.  She told me to fix her favorite meal that night and then not let her have any of it, but she would need to sit and watch us eat it.  "Always make the punishment fit the crime.  It's what they understand."  So that's what we did.  I will never forget the look on her face when I told her she couldn't have any Spaghetti.  When she asked why, I told her because she stole that little boys lunch and ate it in front of him.  You need to see how that feels.  I hated doing it. It broke my heart but it worked.  She never took anything again that belonged to someone else.  School was a real challenge for her.  Negative attention does not play out well there.  Her teachers were at a loss, finally resulting in making her sit under her desk.  I was having none of that so we took them out of the public school and sent them to our little Christian School.  Not having to share the attention with twenty other students seemed to help some what.
After 18 months, Glen and I went to our case worker and told her this was not going to work out.  We would love to adopt the older child but this little one was tearing our family apart.  She asked if we would stick it out another six months and then if we wanted to adopt her sister, they would split them up.  So we did, always hoping for a break through of some sort.  We would never have made it without Peggy and Mike.  The longer we had the girls the more violent and destructive the little one became.  So after two years we gave up.  I had shared with Peggy how much I had grown to love them but we just couldn't live like this any longer. Then our case worker gave us the news that they would not split them after all.  So miracle of all miracles, Peggy and Mike adopted them.  It was bittersweet for us.  Elated that they were going to be with a great family that we knew but so very sad to see them go. We would not only be saying goodbye to the girls but to Peggy and Mike and their family.  We would no longer be able to be in touch.
I will always treasure the opportunity we had to show love to these little girls.  We introduced them to church and to Jesus.  We took them on their first airplane.  We taught them how to swim and probably gave them their first real birthday party.  I don't know if they remember us and if they do, if they're good memories.  But I will forever remember them and will love them forever.  

Tear That Fence Down

I have mentioned many times how I grazed just over the wrong side of the fence as a teen and then in my early twenties I tried to straddle it as best I could.  Mostly on the right side but clearly not making the Lord a priority in my life.  That is about to change.
Shortly after our move to Florida, we began the search for a church. We found one we liked pretty much and they had a great youth program so we began attending there regularly.
My sister and her new husband who were living in PA., where Christian school teachers and they heard of a school in our area that was looking for teachers.  She asked if we wouldn't mind visiting the church and letting them know what we thought.  So that Saturday we set out to find the church so we could see just how far away from us it was. We could also see what time their service started on Sunday evening.  Well, we could not find this church.  The town it was in was very close to ours but we couldn't find the street.  So we stopped at the fire department.  They ought to know, right?  It turned out to be Devine leading cause the Chief and two other firemen went to this church.  They told us everything we needed to know.
Sunday morning we went to our own church and when the service was over, Glen and I felt like we needed to join.  So we did. We never returned. God was having no part of it.  He had a plan for us to become members at this little church called Victory that we had spent all day looking for on Saturday. The minute we walked in the doors we were made to feel at home and after we heard the message, we were sold.  The Pastor had a great sense of humor and when we joined the church he leaned over and said, "Now you will be back tonight, right?"
My sister and her husband never came and taught there.  It was just God's way of using them to get us to the right place. Under the the teaching of Pastor Taylor, Glen and I grew and grew in the Lord.  We learned so much about God's Word. Things we had never heard before.  See, Pastor Taylor taught the whole Bible.  He didn't leave out what might offend some of his members.
Glen and I had torn the fence down. No more straddling, no more hanging on, no more running back to it. Our course has been set and we only wanted to grow stronger and stronger in our faith from this point on. Do we fall, do we make mistakes, do we sin?  Of course we do.   But we are sinners saved by grace.  We are washed in the blood of Christ.  Clean, clean, clean.  Hallelujah! Our years at Victory Baptist will never be forgotten.  We made lifelong friendships there.  It truly was a church family and we still love them all. 

Where Did 35 Years Go?

Tomorrow is our 35th wedding anniversary.  It doesn't seem possible until I start thinking about all the things we've done and the places we've been, all the trials we've weathered and all the blessings we've received. 

We have moved twelve times and lived in three states. We have owned three homes, two of them we built.

We have lived at the 9th hole of a golf course, on a crystal clear lake, out in the country, in the middle of the city and on the top of a mountain. 

We have seen all of our children marry but one and we have had one of them graduate from college debt free. 

We've been in and out of work and have lost a home to the bank because of it. 

Glen's parents are no longer with us and his only brother was buried on Glen's 50th birthday. 

Our youngest child survived a life-threatening stomach condition only to be shot 25 years later by a mugger. He survived that too, thank the Lord. 

We have seen many of our friends and family struggle with illness and several we have lost.

We prayed through the tractor accident my dad had and my mom's breast cancer.

We have traveled all over this country.  

There are lifelong friends that we have met along our journey and each one has enriched our lives more then they will ever know. 

We have seen some of our own children experience the heartache of divorce. 

We have watched what post polio can do and how much it wants to rob from me.

So how does a marriage endure all the valleys of life?  Well, as you know, I am no expert! 

What I do know is that I have had wonderful examples of marriage in my life time and so has Glen.

We know a good marriage needs the Lord.  

A quote from the preacher at our wedding was "May you always remember that love and loyalty will avail as the foundation of a happy and enduring home. No other human ties are more tender, no other vows more sacred then those you now assume.  If these solemn vows are kept unimpaired; if steadfastly you seek to do the will of your Heavenly Father, your life will be full of joy and the home which you are establishing will abide in peace.

Love is the key. Love to show your feelings and to save time for each other no matter what demands are made upon your day.  See the meaning of life through the changing prism of your love; to nurture each other to fullness and wholeness and in learning to love each other more deeply, learn to love the creation in which this mystery of your love has happened."

Glen and I are so very blessed to have each other and God has really worked in our lives as you will see as I continue to share our story with you in the up coming months. 

Up until 12 years ago, I had severe migraine headaches.  That, along with the pain in my legs and hips from the polio, I would spend many nights, bed surfing.  That's when you go from one bed to the couch to the chair to another bed, if you have one, and back to the couch.  

My husband loves to write and is very good at it, by the way.  He is forever leaving me little notes.  Here is a note he left me 30 years ago after one of those nights that I had been bed surfing.

"I had this dream about a beautiful valley that could be seen from the rim of a mountain bluff.  In the valley was a small settlement with very friendly people. There was wild game, lakes and beautiful sunsets. The air was clean and fresh.  A slight aroma of wild honeysuckle and jasmine drifted on a gentle breeze.  Everything was calling of contentment.  I reached out to you to escort you to this place with me, but my hands came back empty.  The shock of fright caused me to awaken.  You were gone.  I knew you were in the other room. I felt better because you were near and my fright went away.  I am still content because you are still near. I don't need the mountains, I don't need the valley, I don't need the sunsets but I do need you"

Did God give Glen a glimpse into the future through a dream 30 years ago.  I can't answer that but I do know He gives us the desires of our heart.  So we have that mountain looking down on that small settlement full of friendly people.  We have the aroma of honeysuckle and jasmine drifting on a gentle breeze.  We have beautiful sunsets but most of all we have each other and our Heavenly Father.  That's all we really need.

Looks Can Be Deceiving.

We were so blessed to have a sweet little 3 bedroom, 2 bath house to move into in Florida with a beautiful swimming pool.  It was the most beautiful pool I have ever seen, even to this day.  It was called a black water pool.  It actually looked like a lagoon with a flagstone deck.  We spent most of our time out there.  Clay was afraid of the water when we first moved in.  We couldn't get him off the first step but with a little coaxing from one of his kindergarten friends, he soon became a little fish.  Soon he would be standing on a boogie board, surfing the waves of New Smyrna Beach at the age of four. Now he is a very accomplished surfer with sand in his shoes.  It will be very difficult to ever get him too far from the beach.
Looks can be so deceiving, cant they? Prior to our move into this lovely rental home, three bachelors lived there.  They didn't want to pay for garbage pick up so they had a two wheel trailer next to the house where they threw all the garbage and then hauled it to the dump when it was full.  We wanted to make sure that had been done before we moved in.
I had been staying at my friends for two weeks. Glen put the boys on a plane and then he and his friend Jim drove down with our belongings.  The boys and I went over to the house to clean before they arrived.  I remember there was a little lizard in one of the bedrooms.  It freaked me out.  I gave the boys the broom and shut the door of the bedroom and told them to catch it or kill it but don't come out till you do.  They thought that was great fun.  They loved being mommy's little hero's.  After thirteen years in Florida, lizards don't bother me in the least.  They didn't change, I did.  I just got used to them.
As soon as the guys got there we began to set up housekeeping.  We had only brought our bedroom set and had planned to pick up some used furniture for the boys as soon as we could.  In the meantime they were on sleeping bags in their rooms.   It was our second night in the house and we were all asleep.  Suddenly Glen flips on the bedroom light.  "What are you doing?" I asked.  "You don't want to know", he said.  Then he proceeded to tell me.  He was right, I didn't want to know. He had felt something on his leg.  When he moved, it jumped down to the floor.  When he investigated, it turned out to be a rat. It had come through a hole behind the toilet.  Well I was up for the night.  I told him to shut the boys bedroom doors and the lights stayed on.
It seems the rats were hanging out in the trailer full of garbage and when they moved it away, they moved into the attic of our house looking for food.  They found every hole in the house.  We fought them for weeks.  Every time we thought we had all the holes blocked, they came in another.  Behind every sink, every toilet and behind the stove. We put out poison and now they where dying in the walls and we were finding them in the pool, bathtub and the hot tub looking for water.   I will never forget this time in our lives.  I use to be afraid of a little mouse but after this, I would have been relieved to have a mouse.
That reminds me of how we become so accustomed to things that go on in our world that are so very sinful and we become desensitized to it because it's in our face all the time.  Suddenly we say, "It doesn't bother me anymore" or "That's not so bad. At least they're not doing this or doing that".  We keep letting Satan have this victory.  We need to stand up against the rats of this world anyway we can.
Remember the lizard?  I thought he was an awful thing and wanted it killed or out of my house.  But then I was around them so much that they didn't bother me anymore.  I was glad to see one in the house because they ate insects. Immorality is like that.  Kill it, don't let it in the house but then because it's in the media and around every where we look, in our face constantly, we've become use to it.  Our nation is in trouble, our children are struggling.  We need to pray!

Southbound

I am sure all of you are aware of how your life can change in an instant by such things as a visitor or a phone call.  Sometimes it is tragic and sometimes it is exciting.  

A few years after I began working for Ozark they opened a new Reservation Office in Orlando, Florida on the Disney Lake Buena Vista property.  As I would make my way from the employee parking lot into the the airport in the middle of winter, I would dream of working in Orlando.  Many times I would slip in the snow or just get blown over from the wind coming off the the runway.  But the Orlando jobs were sought after and the office there was small so with my low seniority, it remained just a dream.  One of my best friends at work had transferred down there and so we took the boys to Disney and went to visit Vicki for a few days. 

I remember in the early 80's both my brothers lived in other states.  Rod was in Texas with his family, Randy was in Kansas City, Mo. with his and my little sister was about to get married and move to Pennsylvania with her new husband. We would joke around with mom and dad about us being the only ones left near by. 

It was the night of my sister Mindy's rehearsal and dinner.  I had forgotten my camera at mom and dad's so I sent Glen back to their house to get it.  While he was there the phone rang.  It was my friend Vicki and she said "Tell Cyndi to pack her bags.  She is being transferred to Orlando and has two weeks to report to work."

A few months before this, Glen had been laid off from Caterpillar along with thousands of others and no one would hire him.  Everyone in that area knew if Caterpillar called you back you would go but the chances of getting called back were slim to none.  So the timing could not have been better for that reason.  All I could think about was how I was going to tell my parents that we were leaving too.  It was hard to get too excited.  The fact that we could fly home and they could fly down helped to cushion the news a little. 

God is always in control and He had a plan for us and it involved us being in Florida.  It's amazing how He perfectly orchestrates our lives if we let Him. We wouldn't be here in this sweet little house with a million dollar view on a mountain in Tennessee if He had it not moved us to Florida first.  So my advice for you today is to let go and let God.  He has a mountain top for you too.