Friday, March 2, 2012

My Little Man

As I said last time, my pregnancy was far from easy.  I was forced to quit my job very early because I spent most of my day going back and forth to the restroom.  If I said I was sick almost every 30 minutes, it would not be a stretch of the imagination at all. I ended up in the hospital from dehydration and a high fever from a kidney infection.  I was so concerned that my baby was not getting enough food because I knew I wasn't at all.  Then on my way to my last Doctor's visit I fell down two steps coming out of my apartment building. Walking on my crutches was all about balance and trust me, with a large watermelon out front, I was absolutely off balance! That baby shifted and down I went.  I threw myself to the side so my stomach wouldn't take a direct hit.  In so doing, I twisted my knee really bad. As soon as I got to the Doctor's office, he checked the heartbeat and everything seemed fine with the baby.  I was so relieved.  God was so good to protect my little package.
Two weeks early on May 27th I delivered a 7lb 11ounce baby boy by C-section.  I think he was definitely ordering food in from somewhere.  Probably explains his love for fast food.  I, however, was a whopping 76lbs after delivery.  I was so weak, they wouldn't even bring my baby to me that first day.
The next morning they brought my little Matthew Shane in for me to hold. We called him "Matty", after my grandfather.  He was so bright-eyed and aware.  Those beautiful eyes looked up to me as if to say, "Don't worry Mommy, I will take care of you."  I knew then and there that we would always be there for each other.
Our journey was a rocky one and we were going to need each other.  He probably wasn't more then 18 months old when he began to open doors for me and he instinctively knew not to run from me.  I can count on one hand the times he ever disobeyed. God certainly gives you what you need and he gave me the perfect little boy for me.  
During the three years Gerry and I were divorced things were tough.  I didn't make much money.  We qualified for food stamps but back then you had to buy your food stamps.  I think I only had enough money to buy them once but my parents fed us often and we never went hungry.
My parents were always there for Matt and I.  We would move in and out of their home several times and we were always welcome.  My little sister was always willing to let us move in and invade her space and actually we had a lot of fun sharing a room.  I pray that I would always be there for my children the way my parents have been for me.  I truly knew the unconditional love of a parent.
Matthew has so many wonderful qualities.  He has Gerry's exuberance and he looks a lot like him.  He has a huge compassion for people both young and old.  As soon as he got his driver's license he started a bus route at our church.  He would spend all day Saturday visiting people in the area, inviting them to church and offering to pick them up.  Sunday morning he would leave early with the bus driver to begin picking them up.
He graduated from college as a Bible and Missions Major.
Now he has his three beautiful daughters and he is a wonderful father.  I am so proud of him and so thankful God put him in my life.
Last night I attended our annual banquet for our local Women's Care Center where our mission is to fight for life.  It saddens me that there are so many people out there who long to have a child and so many who kill theirs.  54,000,000 and counting.   I have two babies in heaven waiting for me but God saw fit to take them from me early.  I will see them in Heaven someday.
Let me say, if you have made a wrong choice concerning a life you would have brought into this world, there is peace for you.  A peace that is beyond your understanding but it only comes through a personal relationship with Christ.  He can heal your heart and you can make a choice to see your baby again.

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